Blogging for my school

My first blog post on nyit.edu

I talk about my upcoming year as a Head Resident Advisor, Co-Director of NYIT Manhattan's Community Service Center, and School Counselor Intern at Stuyvesant High School and the High School for Arts and Technology.

Cyber Bullying: Bystanders

I recently did a presentation to my classmates on cyber bullying. The research I found was fairly eye opening. I am fairly aware of the effects of Cyber Bullying, and the causes that they have on today's children. Or so I thought.

As someone who (believes) will be a school counselor, doing research into this topic, I had to put myself into the shoes of an adolescent, a parent, and an educator. It was easy to put myself in the shoes of an adolescent as I was one ten years ago. When I think back to my time going through high school, and middle school, I consider myself fairly lucky in that I wasn't bullied too much.

I was bullied here and there, but I was able to get along with most of the different cliques growing up. I played sports, I had friends of all races, colors and creeds. I can specifically remember in high school one day being bullied for money by one student in my grade on my walk home from school, but because I was friendly with his good friend, he told the bully to back off, and the bully did. I of course have not forgot about that act of kindness.

It made me think about victims of cyber bullying. A lot of responsibility needs to be put on the bystanders of cyber bullying, if of course it takes place in a public forum like a facebook news feed or a recipient of mass emailing/texting. It is easy to laugh along with people when an act of cyber bullying takes place, or to just ignore it.

One suggestion I have for bystanders is that I ask for people to start following up with "victims" of cyber bullying the next day in person to see how they are doing. Go up to that person the next day, and say to them "hey, I saw what that person posted about you the other day, that wasn't so cool, how are you doing?"

That act of kindness will go a long way. The other suggestion is for you to directly message, and not post on the thread, to the person(s) who attacked the victim and say to them "that wasn't cool, I hate to be the party pooper, but come on, not cool."

If you want to go the extra mile, and if you feel comfortable to do so, post on the thread "that's not cool," or "Ouch."

Cyber Bullying is no laughing matter, if you see someone getting attacked repeatedly or getting called out for something, the best thing to do is to follow up with that person. Tell them that you are there for them.

Also please remember this one thing. It is an online world, it is not your real world, you can easily deactivate your account, share your feelings with a friend or an adult. Don't let your cyber world spiral out of control.